Breathe

7:00 AM



I'll say it again: March was a rough month.

It was rough for lots of reasons (I'll give you a hint: school is a big one) and it's left me feeling kind of emotionally exhausted. And you know what? Blogging was hard in March. Answering comments was hard. Taking the time to read other blogs was hard. All I wanted to do was curl up and have some time alone and read or write or plan for Camp NaNo and oh, wait, I haven't written tomorrow's blog post yet and it's midnight.

We shall ignore the fact that I dislike this movie because the gif is accurate.

Yeah. 

And you know what's killer about that? It wasn't even that rough of a month by...by what? Normal standards? I'm homeschooled. I don't do very many activities outside sitting in front of a computer screen or a book. I probably don't even have that much schoolwork to do; I even had a break somewhere in there. And I still feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.  

*waits for applause* 

So, if you were wondering, that's why I've been a bit slow to things, and missed some posts. I'm the kind of usually-hardcore (haha) person who hates complaining, and I won't burden you with some anxiety sob story because anxiety is not something I usually feel up to talking about, but that's what's been going on. 

So I've been stepping back a little bit. Because I'm an on-the-go person and I'll push myself way too hard; I'll beat myself up because dang it, I'm 'a whole draft behind on Pariah' even though that's not fair to say to myself; I'll beat myself up about school and blogging and not do any of it 'right'. I don't think motivation is a bad thing, or keeping myself accountable, but I tend to go way hard on myself and it's times like these that that's weighing down on me a little too hard and I can't breathe anymore. 

Getting too deep and cheesy for you yet? 

I need to step back and breathe. 

That's what I've been reminding myself the past few weeks, and especially this week. It's Good Friday as I write this, and by the time this is posted it will be a day before Easter, and that's a pretty good time to step back from everyday life and focus on something outside myself, isn't it? A good time to sit back and pray and really think about priorities and breathe. And tomorrow, I'll dress up and go to church and sing and pray and listen and go home and stuff myself with amazing food and have a quiet day, which sounds just fine to me. 

Because breathing is important and you know, I don't really do it as much as I ought to. 

*We have now reached the application/preaching part of this post.* 

I'm not sure how stressed-out any of you are right now. If you aren't at all, you go. You're awesome. If you are, even a little - breathe. Like I said, it's something I forget a lot, and it's important. Take a moment to be quiet. Do something that isn't beating yourself up, or something pressing, or something that stresses you. 

Just breathe, and have a great Easter.

33 comments

  1. Wow. That was very powerful. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't had the best month, but I'm sure with some breathing room, as you say, you'll be back on form in no time. Enjoy Easter and Camp NaNo, and stay awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I think I'm mostly over the anxiety slump now, so hopefully April will be better - Camp NaNo will give me an outlet for my frustration. xD Happy Easter to you too!

      Delete
  2. I'm homeschooled too! I have a lot of work at the moment though due to upcoming exams and I'm freaking out! It was lovely reading your post to just remind myself that I need to breathe and look at the bigger picture and take some time to relax. I hope this month is better for you! Lovely, inspiring post! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *fistbumps for homeschool*
      Yeah, this spring is drowning me in schoolwork. *sighs* I'm just trying to make it through to summer, though. And that's definitely true; I try to remind myself of that a lot but I'm not very good at it. Have an amazing month yourself! :)

      Delete
  3. I actually needed this, lately I have been pushing myself to the extreme. Both in writing and in music. I really do need to breath. * Slow clap* for usage of Bilbo Baggins quote. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, hopefully you'll be able to get some breathing in. :) Writing is one of my big stressers too.

      Delete
  4. *applause* Aww, I loved this seriously soo much, Aimee. This was so encouraging, and I really needed it. Have a great Easter, and I hope life eases out for you somewhat =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks! I'm glad you found it helpful. :)

      Delete
  5. I really loved this post, and its Easter message :) I know what anxiety is like and for me it comes in fits and starts- so hopefully April will be easier on you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! It seemed appropriate for the day before Easter. :)

      Delete
  6. *applause*
    I know how you feel. Like you had so much to do but you really didn't and it was somehow super stressful anyway. Taking breaks are nice. :) Easter is most definitely a good time for it.
    Happy Easter to you too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *bows*
      Oh, yeah. I guess it's not quantity but quality? xD *shrugs* Happy Easter!

      Delete
    2. Mmm, yes, I agree. Although quantity can be very stressful too. Happy Easter (again, on the actual day)!

      Delete
  7. That post was like a breath of fresh air. Literally, because when you told me to take a deep breath I obeyed ;-) You're going to rock April, chika!!!!! Also I didn't know you were homeschooled! 😉 *fist bump*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I'm glad. Breathing is always helpful. :D And yes, I am! I really should talk about it more but it hasn't come up yet - I'm planning a post on it soon. xD *fistbump*
      Thank you so much for the encouragement, and happy Easter!

      Delete
  8. Yay! I'm not the only one who dislikes that movie! ^^ And saaame I'm homeschooled too and school life/even regular life is pretty easy but sometimes I just feel blehhhh. Nice encouraging post, though! Hope you have a nice Easter! :D

    O | Life as a Young Lady

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *high fives* xD
      Yay for homeschooling! There is less stress in some ways, but it can still throw you for a loop a lot of the time, and has its own extreme stress at times.
      Happy Easter!

      Delete
  9. I beat myself up a lot about things too. My writing, blogging, school, guitar. Pushing yourself is good. Because if you don't, then who will? And if you don't then how do you get better?

    But you're right about taking a break. There's a point when too much pushing is too much. Lately I've been thinking that everything I do, I'm just not good enough at it. I feel so inadequate. And I think it's partly because I'm pressuring myself too much and need a break. So. . . maybe I'll hide away next week and watch movies. :)

    Great post! And have a good Easter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, there's definitely a balance. I think we should push ourselves a little to do well, even if it's stressful sometimes (a little stress isn't the end of the world; it's normal) so we improve. But it's also good to take a step back sometimes and just remember to breathe, and THEN go back to pushing. :)
      Happy Easter!

      Delete
  10. thank you for this reminder. I have the same tendencies as you. I beat myself up about everything. I push myself too hard. But I need to slow down.

    I hope you'll be able to relax this week. praying for peace for you girl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it sucks a lot. :/ Do remember to breathe, and take breaks sometimes! :)
      Aw, thanks so much <3 I really appreciate it. Have a lovely Easter!

      Delete
  11. I do this too—I miss a goal and I start by putting myself down before I even consider doing anything else. I prioritize weird things, I make messes for myself, and I go crazy. But one thing I've learned—from being Christian, from having asthma, from simply trying to live through life—is that you do need to breathe. And you also need to remember that there's someone who gave his last breath so you don't have to. All the things I think are important, all the things I stress myself out over... They don't really matter. They don't matter because I don't have to earn anything, I don't have to save myself anymore. And when I remember what God did for me, it's easy for me to take a back and say, "Enough is enough." Yes, I will want to do things. Yes, I have a drive and it needs to be fulfilled. But we also need to rest and remember that, whatever happens right now... It's okay.

    Yes, He is Risen... And that is okay. :)

    Happy Easter, Aimee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, yeah. Oh, yessssss. Yes yes yes to this whole comment. xD Our pastor talked about that in service this morning, and it's very true. Thank you for phrasing it better than I could. :P

      Have a wonderful Easter!

      Delete
  12. Take a break. Have a rest. Breathe. And rightly so ! Its great to work hard but all of that hard work needs to be balanced with relaxation and a bit of perspective - its definitely something I've struggled with, trying to create that balance. And yeah school is a huge part of that! You're doing great Aimee :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sorry that March wasn't so good for you :/ I forget to breath sometimes as well, so you're not the only one out there :)

    Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's definitely important to breathe, and I know I've been feeling extremely worn out lately. It's just that it's so hard to find time to relax when school throws me tests or quizzes and homework every day of the week in a relentless cycle. And like you, I beat myself up over not being perfect, so that makes everything even worse. Here's to feeling better soon for both of us, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luckily, though, writing puts very little stress on me. It's what I do to escape from my school work, so I really look forward to the little time I get to write when I'm not bogged down by school. It's very much a destresser for me.

      Delete
  15. I'm homeschooled too. And even though I honestly don't do much besides school, there's still that feeling that I just can't anymore sometimes.

    March hasn't been that great for me either. Most of it comes from missing acting, which I was doing most of January and February. But also, anxiety makes me feel awful.

    Hopefully things are looking up though!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ugh, I'm in a constant state of stress. And I don't homeschool (it's very unusual in Ireland), so it's not like I can just ask for a break. But you're doing great, this was a lovely post <3

    ReplyDelete
  17. *takes deep breath* Whew. You have no idea how much I needed that. I'm homeschooled too *high five*(high fives are acceptable?) and while that takes away some of the pressure, it does NOT automatically relieve you from stress.

    Goodness, my family's going through a lot right now. In one week we're moving to a different state. Thursday I was interviewed for this really competitive scholarship(THAT wasn't nerve-wracking). And I start college in the fall. *hyperventilates*

    But, really. I'm good. And you'll be good too. :) Just keep breathing and praying and living life to its fullest.

    And HAPPY (belated) Easter!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've been feeling so much like this. Every day is monotonous-- wake up, school, track, homework, blog, read, sleep, repeat. Some days I get want to not get out of bed and just dwell and think, you know? I do hope that things get better for you.

    xoxo Morning
    http://theworldthroughmywindowsill.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm late to this post, but anyway...
    You have no idea how much I get this. Like. Seriously, Aimee. My anxiety was especially horrible toward...the beginning of March, I think. And my life is so *easy* compared to other people's. It's frustrating, but I know there's a reason for it.
    It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this, so thanks for posting! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete

hey. hey. talk to me. i'm a fan of comments and flailing with you. go for it.