What 2015 Taught Me About Writing7:00 AM
In other words: a lot.
Not gonna lie, 2015 was a rough year for writing. I cried, gave myself some wrist injuries, took long hiatuses, scrapped drafts, panicked, and basically wallowed through a whole lot of writer feels. Blogging suffered, too. A lot of stuff went on in 2015 that I didn't plan and it fed into my writing and threw all my plans in the dumpster.
Because writing is just like this I learned more this year than I've learned in the past. So that's pretty cool. I could make like fifty posts about every single thing, because there's a lot, but here's the main lesson I had to learn the hard way:
My writing isn't going to be perfect. Ever.
Like most writerly people out there, perfectionism is an issue for me. I like to write well and show people that awesome writing. I like to nail character development.
I like to make people cry. I like my plots to be airtight, like that ever happens. If we're talking about having high standards mine broke right through the graph a while ago.
Hence the tears and anxiety and frustration, because that stuff doesn't happen. Ever.
This year I had expectations for myself. There were things I wanted to finish and fix. I wanted to have a really solid grip on Pariah by now. I'm still figuring out basic plot. I wanted to write some more first drafts. I did some, but not all the ones I wanted to get to. I'm swimming in story ideas (I have about 20 on Pinterest right now). 2015 was the year of failing deadlines, sending drafts to betas when I knew they sucked because I'd promised some steampunk murder and couldn't fail these people now, and throwing things across the room.
I set goals for myself that I think I can accomplish, and then I let myself down.
Every. Single. Time.
|Trying to get my life together like|
I can't do it. It's not gonna happen, last year or in 2016. Because it's pretty freaking impossible.
Like, do you guys realize this? You're not always going to hit personal deadlines. You're not going to write the next Great American Novel in one or two or three or ten drafts, unless you're super talented (in which case, don't even talk to me). You will always let yourself down (and I speak to myself here) because you have an idea of what excellent writing is in your head and it's almost always ridiculously high. I stress over doing things I wouldn't expect a writer friend to be able to do, what's the fairness in that?
2015 was the year of learning how to chill out.
I'm sure I'll hit the same problems this year, and have the same expectations. But hopefully I'll be a little better at managing them. I had to learn the hard, tear-filled way, but I'm so glad I did.
Here's to 2016, the year of editing Pariah AGAIN.
NOTE: I'll be on a complete internet hiatus for the rest of this week, because I'm crazy like that, so I won't be answering comments or available on social media until the end of the week. I have posts scheduled, though, so you won't have to be without me any longer.