Things Books Taught Me

11:01 AM


A very, very serious post.


I read a lot. Needless to say, you don't read a lot of books without learning a few things. Heck, books are the very best source of knowledge! I've picked up some useful advice over the years, and I'm here to pass some of that amazing knowledge on to all of you. 


The Hunger Games taught me that food is the most important thing, ever, and you should always focus on that and nothing else. This is science. 

The Scorpio Races taught me that Sean Kendrick is the solution to all problems. 

The Maze Runner taught me that it's probably a good idea to start jogging now, otherwise you're screwed when the apocalypse rolls around. (Also, you're screwed if you're a teenager. Who else would the evil government pick to mess around with and then use to their advantage? Someone more responsible and capable? Pssh.) 

The Lunar Chronicles taught me that everyone gets an attractive love interest. EVERYONEEEE. This gives me hope for the future.

Les Miserables taught me to leave that bread alone. Just. Leave it. Don't even bother. It's not worth it. 

Lemony Snicket taught me that people who don't read are very dangerous and should be avoided at all costs, and books are your best friends. Also, hoard all sugar bowls you come across. Who knows why, but it's important anyway. 

Vicious taught me to NEVER TRUST ANYONE AND GET USED TO BEING SCARRED FOR LIFE. 

Unwind taught me that "nice socks" is not, under any circumstances, a compliment. (also, your life is never as bad as it could be. At least you have all your limbs and stuff.) 

The Great Gatsby taught me that parties suck, and I'm not as angsty as I think I am. 

What have books taught you?

31 comments

  1. This is perfect!

    Lord of the Rings- Rings are evil

    Alice in Wonderland- Don't drink things that have labels telling you to.

    The Rave Boys- Don't kiss boys, or else they will die.

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  2. The Mysterious Benedict Society: Don't watch TV or listen to the radio. Wait, yes you can. They fixed that, how kind of them.
    Harry Potter: Chocolate helps depression.
    Things not Seen: NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES USE AN ELECTRIC BLANKET.
    Firefight: Calling someone a potato is less romantic than calling them a carrot.
    Illusionarium: Substance abuse will make you look ugly
    Clariel: Don't trust talking cats who are quite obviously evil.

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    1. Oh my gosh, Mysterious Benedict Society was a good section of my childhood and now I have all the warm fuzzy memories. But yes, they also kind of traumatized me. And Firefightttt. I do love David.

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  3. This is just too perfect. And yes, Sean Kendrick solves everything.

    And wasn't it a stroke of terribly good luck that all four girls found someone attractive and still managed to save the world? It seriously doesn't get much better than that.

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    1. I need my own personal Sean Kendrick, tbh.

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  4. Batman taught me that the best way to deal with depression is to become a vigilante crime fighter, The Magicians taught me that magic school would suck just as much as regular school, and Percy Jackson taught me that literally every famous person ever was, in fact, a demigod.

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    1. Batman is the answer to everything, obviously.

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  5. *sneaks out of the shadows and comments for the first time*

    This is great:) Love The Hunger Games, Les Miserables, and Lemony Snicket! Actually, confession, I've never read all of Les Mis... I think I made it like 10 chapters in, haha. BUT I really, really love the musical! It's my favorite ever, especially the 25th anniversary in concert XD. And I am planning on reading the book sometime when the whole crazy life thing decides to calm down. Anyway, awesome post! I may have to steal this idea for future use:)
    -Maddie

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    1. Les Mis is HUGE, so I don't blame you. It's called "The Brick" for a reason. :P And the musical is my lifeeee.

      Welcome to commenting for the first time! *cake*

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  6. Harry Potter - Everything evil lacks a nose

    Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrel - Fairies are sneaky little suckers and never to be trusted.

    Game of Thrones - Your heart needs to be as dead and cold as the barrens of Antarctica.

    Unwind - Be a good child, or your parents will sell your organs and skin and bones on the white market.

    The Alienist - Logic, cleverness and efforts go the distance in the end. Also, people are awful.

    A Series of Unfortunate Events - The police are useless and can't even recognize one guy with a very distinctive eyebrow and an ankle tattoo.

    The Maze Runner - How to fear the dark. Again.

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    1. Oh my goshhhh Unwind tho. It's so true.

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  7. The Lord of the Rings: If you ever come across a small, pretty, and strangely alluring shiny object, under no circumstances should you pick it up.

    The Iliad: Don't kill Achilles' friends.

    The Maze Runner: Trust nothing ever at all.

    Pride and Prejudice: If you find a guy who totally hates you and is rude to you on every possible occasion, he's probably in love with you (ah, infallible logic.).

    The Book Thief: Here is a small fact: you are going to die. And so will every character you ever loved.

    The Chronicles of Narnia: Every closet leads to a magical world in the end.

    Dracula: Vampires used to be genuinely scary. Also, don't walk around a creepy town where a known murderer is lurking in the middle of the night.

    Fahrenheit 451: In the future, no one will care about reading and everyone willo basically live on electronics (What? You mean that's basically already happening? Huh...).

    Lord of the Flies: Children are evil.




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    1. THE ILIAD. I'm crying because it hurts, but also laughing because it's accurate...ahhhh.

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  8. These are awesome! :) Love the ones for Les Mis and The Lunar Chronicles!


    The Hobbit: Even if you go on a big adventure and escape great dangers, you are still not immune to the common cold.

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  9. Haha this was too funny! I totally prepared for a very, very serious post and then BAM! Hilarity.

    "Les Miserables taught me to leave that bread alone. Just. Leave it. Don't even bother. It's not worth it."

    ^ Epic.

    The Giver taught me that pale eyed people are our only hope for the future, and Looking for Alaska taught me to run from its contents screaming.

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    1. There's not really any "serious" posts on this blog. It's a problem. And also, YES TO LOOKING FOR ALASKA. Ick.

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  10. "Vicious taught me to NEVER TRUST ANYONE AND GET USED TO BEING SCARRED FOR LIFE." VERY VERY ACCURATE.

    And I'd list some things books taught me but I'm dead-exhausted, so nah xD

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  11. This is great! Not If You See Me First taught me that orphaned blind people can still be super happy and sarcastic. Fahrenheit 451 taught me NOT TO BURN BOOKS EVER. Fangirl taught me that you can write and have a life, and that being a twin is just as hard as it sounds. Jane Eyre taught me that walks on moors help you end up with the guy you like in the end. *nods sagely*. Wonderful as ever, Aimee!

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    1. Ooh I think I've read all of those but Fangirl...which I keep trying to convince myself to read. Maybe I'll actually get to it sometime. xD

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  12. Fablehaven taught me that drinking milk will always lead to near-death experiences. Always.

    Hamlet taught me that you should never, under any circumstances, listen to ghosts. Also, fencing will probably kill everyone in within 30 feet of you.

    Hawksmaid taught me that hawks are magic and you should definitely try talking to them.

    Havard and Pariah taught me that reading Aimee's books are like drugs. They're addictive and you love them but they also destroy you.
    (love you, child <3)

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  13. Damn, books really do teach you a lot don't they?? Especially the Lunar Chronicles - a lot of hope is needed! :D
    Great post, Aimee! D

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    1. Clearly I'm learning all the right things from books.

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  14. All of Ya: Fake boyfriends will cause you angst (but you'll still end up together). Sabriel:Listen to the cat. The Game of Love and Death: sometimes love really is a life or death matter.
    Awesome post!

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  15. I love this post!
    The Hobbit- Know your riddles, it could just save your life.
    Chronicles of Narnia- When having deep conversations....get Turkish Delight.
    The 5th Wave- If the world ends this way......we're all pretty much doomed.
    Maze Runner- Newt is the most precious cinnamon roll EVER.

    ~Musicgirl121

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