10 Types of Writers You'll Find Online

11:43 AM


We're not all the same, after all.


Writers come in all shapes and sizes, and the internet is crawling with them. Some of us are serious. Some of us take nothing seriously. Some of us are plotters. Some of us are...not that. at all. We're a very varied group of people, united though we are by a common love of storytelling and procrastinating online. So today, I am going to celebrate those different types of writers you'll find when you log onto Twitter.. And you can figure out which one you are, or whatever, if that's your thing.


A.K.A "the Instagram Writer". This person makes writing look flawlessly beautiful. They frequently post pictures of their writing space, which contains a perfectly clean desk with a clean laptop and sticky notes and a cup of coffee and a notepad. Their handwriting makes yours look pathetic. Every place they write is picturesque -- said desk, the mountains, the beach, a spa, wherever. Their writing life is together. How? You don't know. But they've clearly never had any issues blocking out writing time. Every day. Somewhere beautiful. And finding time to photograph and/or post about it. They probably post on their blog about how to be more creative or the best kinds of tea. (This blog is professionally designed.)
WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SKILLS

This person has exactly 0% of their writing life worked out. They are working on at least 3 different projects at any given time, usually more than 5. Their writing style can best be described as "non-linear"; they write the scenes they feel like writing at any given time, and try to cobble everything together later. They own boxes upon boxes of notebooks. Their "desk" is another box full of notebooks. They are the Tony Starks of the writing world. 
no idea what i'm doing but i'm good at it.

A.K.A. "the Plotter." Their plot outlines are the stuff of legend. Before they even open the Word doc they know chapter by chapter what's going down, the characters are fleshed out, the world is built. They've got this. They need to have got this before they start writing. They are to be admired and feared. 
they may or may not have sold their soul to gain these skills

A.K.A. "the Pantser". To the extreme. They take the plot bunny and fly away with it. Plot outline? What's that, a torture device? They'll figure out the main character as they go along. Many of their drafts are plotless. They cannot function with schedules and outlines. They write cool stuff anyway. These people are also to be feared.
they somehow produce coherent stories with no plan? ?????

There's a million things they haven't done, but just you wait. These people are superhuman. NaNoWriMo was built for them -- and they probably went and wrote 100k instead of 50. They turn out a novel a month and edit and blog besides. Their typing speed reaches the point of insanity. Their goals are insane. They reach them anyway. Do these people ever sleep? Absolutely not. I am definitely this person, by the way.
"man, the man is NON-STOP."

Does this person ever actually write? Or do they spend 90% of their time talking about how hard writing is on Twitter? This person writes, but they loathe every second of it. We are all this person to some extent. You'll never know if they genuinely hate this or if they just like procrastinating. 
at least they blog about writing a lot.

A.K.A. "Brandon Sanderson Wannabe". These people write fantasy, and they take it seriously. They've probably created at least one new language and hundreds of new names. They make detailed maps. They could tell you all about the best tourist locations in every one of their many fictional lands. They balance 20 main characters -- in one book -- like it's nothing. They thrive on complex worlds. You do not understand them unless you are one of them, because this is way too much work.
one does not simply write a standalone. 10-book epics are where it's at.

This person REALLY loves their fandom/OTP/fave character. Like, a lot. And they have an entire world of headcanons to back it up. Their work can range from cute fluffy one-shots to massive 50k AU fics. It's crazy. They demand respect, and they should probably have more of it, because they've kind of poured their soul into this thing. And lots of tears besides. Fandom is LIFE asdfghjkl. They cannot even. 
brb dying.

George R.R. Martin is their spirit animal. And they will let you know about it. They can be found most often in their natural habitat: on Twitter, laughing maniacally about the character they just killed off. They live for causing their characters pain and making their readers cry. Their books are brutal and they have #noregrets. Muahaha.
they kill everything you love.

"So what genre do you write?" someone asks. They do not know. They've read the entire story. They still don't know. The writer does not know either, and they wrote it. They go places no one else goes. And they enjoy it. Steampunk/Southern Gothic/horror mashup? They'll go there. Hamlet in space. They'll go there. If you can think it up in any concievable way, they will write it, and good luck trying to put them in a box. They are the Twenty One Pilots of literature. Being quirky is their life.
no fear. no regrets.

Now that I've successfully offended and stereotyped everyone...I'm out. 

What kind of writer are you?

64 comments

  1. This was thoroughly amusing. XD
    I think I fall into the "Knows Nothing" category. :D That's how I write. I mean, roll.

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  2. This was great. I definitely love plotting and planning (maybe more than is healthy, the actual writing part scares me). However, I'm definitely not as intimidating as the 'knows everything' writer you described.

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    1. I...am not a plannner, so I wish you good luck in that. :P

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  3. Just... YESSS. I am many of these at different points. Maybe I'm a strange hybrid of some sort?? (I'm probably most like the Human Disaster, tbh. I can never just work on one thing and I can never quite get my crap together. :P) This is PERFECT!! <3

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  4. I'm a cross between Hamilton and No Survivors. Heh.

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  5. Hahaha, this list is hilarious! :D Sending it to my friends!

    Oh gosh, I know at least one of each examples of these personally, save for the Aesthetic Queen, but I follow several of those online! Not entirely sure what I am, probably a cross between "Knows Everything" and "Human Disaster", with a dash of "What Even"!

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  6. definitely a weird fifty/fifty mix of the Human Disaster and the Pantser...though I'm getting better at plotting. and better is a very loose word choice (basically I plot halfway until I get bored and then just do whatever the heck I feel like...which makes for GREAT FUN when revising. *sighs* )

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    1. Yeah, revising is a nightmare for me and it's kind of my own fault. But oh well.

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  7. I am somehow all of them in one. XD Though I am mostly a "What Even" writer. XD

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  8. Oh heavens this is PERFECT! I think I'm #3: Know Everything (not that I do), but I aspire to be #1: Aesthetic Queen and #5: Alexander Hamilton, too :D

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    1. I'm sadly Alexander Hamilton and it's a problem. *sigh*

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  9. I'm kind of a mix of "What Even" and "Knows Nothing" xD

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  10. Oh my goodness this post killed me with awesomeness XD. THIS WAS THE BEST. I'm a mix of Human Disaster and Knows Nothing :D. You?

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    1. I am Alexander Hamilton, I'm pretty sure. It sounds great. It is not great. Sleep is a dream at this point. Sigh.

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  11. Oh my gosh this is hilarious! XD I completely lost it at "Alexander Hamilton"...the fact that you named a category after him amuses me terribly. I'm a combination of "Human Disaster" and "What Even". XD

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    1. Well, he deserves a category of his own. :P

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  12. I think I'm Tolkien 2.0? But not nearly THAT knowledgeable about my fantasy worlds, so more like Tolkien 1.5...or 1.2. XD This was hilarious, Aimee!

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  13. THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!!!!!!! I honestly lost it when I saw "Alexander Hamilton." XD I can't figure out which one that I am. I WANT to be Aesthetic Queen but I feel like most of the time I'm more like the Human Disaster. *facepalm*

    I landed on your blog through Twitter, and I'm in love!! You're really awesome:)

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    1. Also I'm obsessed with your blog name because I LOVE LES MIS SO MUCH. *flails*

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    2. Glad you like the blog! *waves*

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  14. I STILL DONT KNOW WHO I AM AHAHAHAHAHA HELP. This was hysterical to read though. Your blog is the best.

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  15. I love this! I'm like Tolkien 2.0 mixed with Human Disaster....aka, a hot mess 100% of the time.

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

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    1. Haha! I admire your fantasy skills. :)

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  16. Haha! Love it.

    I think I'm a cross between the Human Disaster and No Survivors. I have like 4 projects going on right now that I don't work on because I'm so busy with school. And killing characters makes everything so appropriately tragic.

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    1. I, too am a No Survivors kind of person. It's a problem and I have no regrets.

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  17. I had to chuckle at this, because so much of it sounds familiar! I think I'm attempting to be a Know-Everything and a Hamilton (though not achieving nearly as much; I'm a slow writer), with perhaps a dash of What Even. I like experimenting with my genres. :)

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    1. Being a Hamilton sounds fun but it's really...not that fun. Lots of stress.

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  18. I'm half panster half Alexander Hamilton.

    also this post was everything. thank you.

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  19. This was utterly fabulous.
    I'm definitely The Human Disaster haha With maybe a Knows Everything and Fanfic thrown in there every now and then.

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    1. I, too, am a human disaster. I feel ya.

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  20. I am a definitely a Knows Nothing writer (as derogative as that sounds) *shakes fists as you* but y'know that's how I will roll for now...

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  21. A panster to the core fusioned with a human disaster. In other words MESSYYYYYYYYYYY.

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  22. This is my favorite post. XD I'm definitely a Human Disaster, a Hater, and Knows Nothing with a touch of What Even. But ultimately, I'm an official Human Disaster. (Which I already knew, but this post just confirmed.)

    Thank you for writing this. It was beautiful. XD

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  23. Right now, I'm the hater. Very, very, VERY much the hater.

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  24. I'm the pantser, but with definite lashings of the Tolkien 2.0 ... I know those things don't really go together?! WHO EVEN KNOWS. I enjoyed this, especially the unexpected but WONDERFUL Carl gif.

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  25. "The Twenty One Pilots of literature." Your particular brand of eloquence is amazing and I love it.
    Also I'm pretty sure which of these I am depends on which story I happen to be writing at the moment. I think I'm stuck somewhere between 'Human Disaster' and 'Knows Everything,' and I have no idea how I managed that.

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  26. Oh my gosh this is pure gold. "The Tony Starks of the writing world" "The Twenty One Pilots of Literature" "Alexander Hamilton"-asdfghjkl I can't even.
    I'm probably a "Knows Nothing", to be honest.

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  27. What Even and No Survivors.

    There is no one that is safe. You thought the main character would make it out alive? Haha, think again. You thought the love interest was good? He's dead too. The main villain, any of the side characters, anything, everyone, anyone who can die, even people who can't die. I have such power.

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  28. Oh my word, this is so great, Aimee. XD

    I'm...hmm. Probably Aesthetic Queen (to some extent), Alexander Hamilton, and The Hater. Very diverse there. HAHA...

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  29. My love for this post knows no bounds. :P

    I'm a mix of multiple types, but I would say I'm more the Knows Nothing writer than anything. XD

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  30. I am The Human Disaster aspiring to be an Aesthetic Queen.

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  31. Judging by the confused comments I receive any time I sent out a piece to be critiqued, I think I belong in the "What Even" category. Truth be told, I don't know how I got there or why or if I'm even meant to be here. XD XD XD
    This post is so accurate. XD
    Keep writing, Hamilton.

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  32. Well this was delightfully amusing! This killed me: "Their goals are insane. They reach them anyway" and "Steampunk/Southern Gothic/horror mashup? They'll go there. Hamlet in space. They'll go there" LOL!

    I would have to say that I am probably most like the Human Disaster writer, and that is alarming. But my desk bulges with notebooks falling all over the place as I type this, so I can't deny it. I mean, seriously...I have more notebooks than pages written....so yeah, that's me.

    This was awesome! :)

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  33. I am Tony Stark and What Even. Also I'm one of those people who has like 11,594 ideas I'm developing in my head but never actually write a single one of them?

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  34. This post is pure perfection.

    xx Mackenzie

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  35. The Alexander Hamilton.

    (And per your comment elsewhere -- you're right, it's often NOT fun, even though you do have a lot to show for your time by the end. :P)

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  36. I think I'm a mashup of "Human Disaster", "Knows Everything", and "What Even". Lol!! My writing life is epic! :D

    -Musicgirl121

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