So How is Camp Going? // The Story I Want To Write

12:34 PM

No one asked, but I'm going to talk about my Camp NaNoWriMo progress anyway.

because it fits the feel of the novel well, okay?
It's July, which means Camp NaNoWriMo once again. Which means lots of writing. Which means no sleep.
actual footage of me this month
For this year's July NaNo I'm second-drafting Havard, a story of mine that's quite important to me. (You can find the Pinterest board here. It's very aesthetically pleasing and I'm quite proud of it.) Long story short, this is a YA sci-fi novel set in future Scandinavia (mostly Norway and Sweden because that's cool), in which a war that's been going on for decades has just ended in a surprise surrender. Havard Madsen, my precious cinnamon roll INTJ child, isn't sure whether to be relieved or upset that the war ended just as he joined -- effectively cutting off any chance he had to become someone heroic and important. So when the chance arises for him to volunteer for a rather sketchy program and become one of the faces of a country determined to strike back and win the war after all, he accepts.

Cue a Winter-Soldier-type plot and lots of angst. 

Why is this novel so important to me, you ask? Allow me to explain to you a thing. (a it's awesome, (b my main character Havard is insecure and shares my severe anxiety, (c related to that it's a chance for me to talk about mental illness in a setting that's not contemporary and focused on said mental illness, and (d Norway is incredibly gorgeous and the best place to set a story. 
This is only a second draft, so I did no planning and I'm mostly just having fun with it. Lots of angst is going down. Lots of drama. Lots of sci-fi stuff. Lots of distressing things that make me think about Bucky Barnes and, as a result, make me sad. Lots of sass, also. That's important.

Did you not ask for snippets? You're getting them anyway.

my poor socially anxious baby, i love him.  i also hurt him. #sorrynotsorry
Johannes Snare is the sassiest child ever, protect him. (also. DRAMA.)
in which media people are jerks and my poor baby havard is turned into a victim unnecessarily.
dun dun dun, DRAMATIC EXPERIMENTS. (aka "aimee complains about medical stuff that scares her")
Saija is the best, and also kind of my hero. I love her endlessly. 

The thing about this story's important to me, like I said. Incredibly so. It may be sci-fi, but in a way it's the most personal thing I've ever written. I have a lot to say about anxiety and depression and mental illness in general and overcoming things. That's a tall order. I mean, what if I don't express myself in the way I want to express myself? What if in trying to be personal, it just falls flat? What if it's never the thing I need it to be, no matter how hard I try? What if no one else appreciates it, what if it doesn't mean anything? Novels should be personal. Incredibly personal novels are often the best. But they come with a lot of extra baggage, too. 

This draft isn't the story I want to tell with these characters. It's closer than the first draft, but it's not there yet. And that's frustrating. I know what I want it to be, what it needs to be to be successful. I just...haven't figured out what that means for this one yet. 
me, trying to figure this out.
I'll get there, eventually. If I keep wrtiting. If I keep it up. But for now I'll be slamming my head against the keyboard while also kinda having fun, trying to learn how to do this thing. the fact that it's weird and Norwegian and sci-fi-y doesn't hurt, either.

Are you doing Camp NaNo this month? How is that going for you?


  1. OOoh, awesome! Gotta say I've never read a book quite like this and I am interested for sure. I mean, HELLO! It's Norway, so I am happy. It's INTJ which is totally myself. And it's anxiety which is . . . yeah, part of life. So yes I would totally read this.

    My Pandora's Box retelling is floundering for a plot line at the moment, but that's okay :P Cuz I'm gonna write 5K today anyway

    Also, that Pinterest board. Yikes. I pray for your characters.

  2. Those snippets sound really really good! The book sounds really awesome!

    Nabila // Hot Town Cool Girl

  3. A I M E E

  4. This sounds like an awesome and feelsy book! You're doing great!


  5. Oh my gosh, this looks so, so amazing. But also like it might (definitely will) emotionally wreck us all. GAH I already love Havard. I'm so, so happy to see a non-villain INTJ. We need more of those. Mental illness is a subject that's pretty close to my heart, so I'm glad you're writing about that. Not enough people do. ASDFGHJKL THIS LOOKS AMAZING I CAN'T EVEN.

  6. Your snippets are amazing! I would read the heck out of this novel if you published it. :)
    I'm working on my novella Heaven Bleeds Fire, which is about a smol angel who teams up with a band of demons to take down Heaven. I'm slightly behind schedule, but not so much that I'm scrambling to finish it. Hopefully I can get it done in a timely manner xD

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

  7. I don't often see people my age write about this stuff so this looks fun. And it's set in Europe. WHat. My fellow Europeans. WHAT. (okay I don't know much about Norway).


  8. THIS SOUNDS SO INCREDIBLE. Oh my gosh. When you become a famous author, I want a copy of this.

  9. Your Camp NaNo project sounds amazing!!! I absolutely love the snippets and the concept of the novel. The world needs more diverse realistic novels like this. Also, I checked out your pinterest board for this novel, and it is a work of art! *seriously covets your pinterest skills*
    Good luck with this project! It sounds tough, and I admire you a lot for doing it.

  10. Those snippets were wonderful, socially anxious characters are my thing.

  11. I LOVE THIS STORY ALREADY. HAVARD IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER. STOP HURTING HIM. Also, Norway is indeed beautiful. If I ever go there I will never ever come back XD.

    Camp is awesomeness. We will not speak of how I've been lazy and only written 14k so far ... Yeah anyways. I only have 6k left to go, so I know I'll make it XD. Next time I'm going to try setting my goal higher *nods*.

  12. This Havard guy sounds like he might end up killed off in his own viewpoint.

  13. I'm doing Camp Nano!! I too am only pretending to write. (I probably won't keep much of what I've written this month. :P ) Your book sounds cool (no pun intended). And Bucky Barnes... YAAAAASSSSSS.....

  14. :DDDDDDDD You write about mental disorders too!!! And it's personal to you too!!! *hugs tightly* *whispers* I've probably already told you about some of my experiences writing that kind of thing, and I couldn't agree with you more as to the sorts of problems that writing a novel like that entails.
    From what you've shared, I can't wait to see the rest of this story. I believe you are off to a great start! Keep writing!

  15. Why are you so good at mixing different themes and places and things to make such awesome stuff?? Ugh, this sounds incredible, keep it up for sure! I can't wait to see where it goes.

  16. Your-writing-is-so-freaking-good-I'm-honestly-freaking-out-right-now.

    Also, I saw from your Instagram you visited VA, *high fives* gotta love the weather and the people here.

  17. I WANT THIS BOOK. This character is basically me: (1) INTJ (2) Wants to be heroic and important (3) Mental illness (yes, I have some of this, too). So, in other words, I'm already ready to live vicariously through him. xD

    Also I am obsessed with Scandinavia and I 100% intend to write a story in Norway one day, too. (But it won't be anywhere near the same kind of story, haha.)

    Also, I admire you for writing something authentic and vulnerable like this. EEP. THIS kind of storytelling is so important and powerful. I know it's only in the early stages, and it'll be a long time before I get to read this book in its completion, but this is just a general cheering-on... keep doing the work because I can't wait to read it! ^_^


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