february // just you wait!

7:00 AM

Here we are, at the end of February. *applause emoji*

One month down. Many to go. I'd be lying if I said if it wasn't a hard month, a dizzy month, one that made me feel like I was treading water. But oh well. WE LIVED THIS FAR.
basically me this month // source

The weather was up and down this month (curse you Ohio) which means EVERYTHING was up and down this month, mental health included. (ah, you lovely brain you.) It's been a struggle, a lot of tiredness, a lot of anxiety creeping back in, a lot less motivation. It got harder to words. It got harder to get up at a regular time. It got harder to live on anything but coffee. but i mean let's be real that isn't new. I'm here, but JUST BARELY. Still, I'm hanging on. Waiting for spring, probably. I feel like Alexander Hamilton: there's a million things I haven't done, and I really want to get to them.

Two words: I. Tried.

Sort of. I sort of tried. I didn't do as badly as I could have, but I also definitely didn't do as well as I could have, or should have. I slacked off just a bit. (I'm also trying to hit upon the posts that make sense to me and that I like writing, the struggle being that the direction I'm trying to go in or want to go in is not the direction of the audience I feel like I have now, and I'd love to interaction with y'all more, so ehhh #identity crisis) Truth be told I'm having a bit of a crisis over exactly what I want to blog about, and how I want to blog about it, and what the heck I am, because I don't like any of the blogging genres I see. Sigh. I'll probably be experimenting more in the upcoming months. This month, though: 

I will definitely be blogging more this March. Hopefully. In hindsight it's kind of stupid of me to make promises like that, but still. No healthy decisions or forethought here, let's be real. 

While we wait on that, here are some inspiring things from other peeps: 

*falls under the weight of all the books I still have to read*

i read vassa of the night last month. exclude it from this list.

So there were some SERIOUS UNEXPECTED FAVES THIS MONTH. Phantom Limbs, To All The Boys I've Loved Before, The Thousandth Floor... were not those faves. #oops. I didn't loathe any of them, except maybe Phantom Limbs, but they left me kind of eh. 

They were more than made up for by the faves. Glitter is fabulously weird and upsetting and fun and out of the normal. The Gods of Gotham is JUST. A NEW FAVORITE EVER. WHY. Pariah inspiration right there. Mr Fahrenheit made my alien-loving heart happy and gave me some contemporary teens who weren't total idiots, and that writing, dude, that writing. 
I read lots of inspiring things. Allll the inspiring things. And I still have a huge stack to work through.

*casually laughs into the void* 

In my defense, I DID write. I wrote two whole Bright Eyes podcast episodes (3/12 yeahhhh baby) and figured out what I'm going to do with that, and I also worked away at Havard! It's still in the 10k/beginning stages, but I have a lot of excitement and a lot of high hopes and I'm going to crack down on it this upcoming month now that I know where I'm going. It's goin' down for real, y'all. 
oops it's me always
You will get more news and snippets soon, I promise. (pssst: you will very possibly get Havard snippets on Saturday.) HOLD TIGHT.

Bones. Finishing up the last season. Weeping over this last season. Enjoying watching my science nerds and gory skeletons/corpses and enjoying the feelings they're giving us. Even though I didn't ask for anything but happiness.

X-Files. Still! Carving my way through bit by bit, working on season 6 now. Will never be over the aliens. Will never be over the creepiness. Will never be over Mulder and Scully. (The ship is strong now. Very strong.)

The Crown. I've been meaning to watch this for forever and ever and ever because I am a sucker for period dramas, and I finally got around to it. IT IS GORGEOUS AND DESERVES ALL THE PRAISE OF EVER. The witty dialogue. The costumes. The visuals. The heavy and yet subtle emotions. matt smith's hair. There is nothing I didn't enjoy about this delicious piece of a show.
Daredevil. AGAIN. Yes, yes, I know. But it is high time the Little Bro watches it, so clearly it's my duty to introduce him to the wonderful world of pain

Legion. LEGIONNNN. The newest X-Men thing and one of my new favorite shows ever three episodes in, I could watch this over and over and over all day and probably never understand what's happening. One of my favorite and most obscure mutants has his own show, and poor David definitely suffers for that. This show is trippy as heck and vivid and disturbing and earns every bit of its rating, but it has some crucial things to say about mental illness, it's horrifyingly painful, and let's not even begin on how relatable it is. I love it endlessly, goodbye. Also, Aubrey Plaza is in this one, and she's just as brilliant as you would expect.
we've all been there let's be real
It's been a good month for shows.

Gonna start doing playlists for this! Based upon the songs I listened to a lot this month and also songs that capture the feel of the month. This one is...kinda melancholy, and yet, that aesthetic tho. (ft. a special appearance by Abbiee, who is ROCKING IT.)

Ah, life. My favorite and most difficult of frens. *collapses* 

Honestly, all I want is a nap. 

It's a little bit of a learning process at the moment, trying to find balance between work and school and writing and reading and friends and coffee and breathing and crying and not feeling terribly numb while I'm trying to do all those things. Right now I'm dragging myself kicking and screaming (or just as dead weight, usually) and that's a difficult process, but my head is still above water. I'll get there. 

A lot of time has been spent working! Gotta get myself that car, after all. 


Sleeping. Lots and lots and lots. 

Just life-ing all over the place, I suppose. 

 Stillll podcast things. ALL THE PODCAST THINGS. I do believe things are starting to come together, and that's exciting. (You WILL hear actual news about this, I promise. I have a lot of stuff in the works.) 

YOUTUBE THINGS. This March. I swear to you, there will be a video, one way or another. On Thursday I'll be posting about that -- gasp, a Thursday post -- and it will involve you because I'm stereotypical. Keep on the lookout for that so you can help me out. Soon, you will all see my face. 

Havard snippets! Huzzah! 

Some Pariah work. It always comes back to Pariah around here. Pariah is lucky I love it so much. 

how was your february? what have you been listening to?


  1. Oh man. February is over? What even...?
    I have heard people say "The Crown," many times this month and I love period dramas (currently enjoying Victoria on PBS XD) so WHAT IS IT ABOUT? Is it Downton Abbey-esce? Not Downton Abbey-esce?
    I applaud your writing *clap emoji* and your writing podcasts! That's so cool!

    1. DUDEEEE THE CROWN. It's a historical drama about the life of Queen Elizabeth II, and it's absolutely gorgeous. Kind of a Downton feel, I suppose?

  2. Ugh I'm with you on not really know what to blog about. All my content seems like filler but idk what else to write.



  3. Lots of writing, reading manga, and watching anime surprisingly. I only just got into the manga and anime, but I'm really enjoying it.

    And well, LEGION. That is in a world of its own. WOW. I'm really hooked.

    1. Ugh it just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

  4. Ha....ha....*collapses*

    Well, life-ing seems to be happening...like I'm doing school again and choir stuff is happening. So that's nice. But yeah, February just kinda came and went without much notice.

    1. Oh and lately I've been listening to Skillet's new album, Red (#I💜RedForever), and since last night, Safe And Sound cover from Hunger Games: District Songs by Jackie Evancho. I legitly love this version and it will forever be my favorite!

    2. Skillet's new album is the best!! what are your favorite songs off there? and yes, Jackie Evancho's version!

    3. My faves are:
      •I Want To Live
      •Back From The Dead
      ;) what are your faves?


    4. Wait, I looked at your blogger description and I just realized know you!! I'm the girl who sits between you and Sam in concert choir! 😂 (Not saying legit names for privacy reasons.) But like OMG I ACTUALLY KNOW YOU IN THE PERSON HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS BEFORE?!?😱

  5. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU DESERVE THAT NAP THO. I hope you get to rest up soon!! And like not every month has to be spectacular. At least February is a short month!? (Actually I get horribly offended by how short February is...i always finish and go "but wait I did not ask to have 4 less days mate" and it's all very rude.) BUT ANYWAY. Thank you for having meeee. <3 And I want to see Legion now. 0_0 But then I want to see a million things and I never do. I tell myself every single night to watch the last episode of Stranger Things and yet. Here I am. Still having not done it. *rolls eyes at self*

    Looks like you got tons of reading done though so that's awesome!!! Did you like Talon? I did but: dragons. Otherwise it was kind of cliche. XD But fun! And I really want to read Glitter but I forgot I wanted to read it SO THANKS FOR THAT. ;D

    1. CAITT. YOU HAVE TO WATCH ALL THE THINGS. (you would like Legion, I think. Lots of cake.)

      I...wasn't able to finish Talon? I just couldn't get into it, man, as cool as the dragon stuff was. Sigh.

  6. I honestly don't know what you're talking about, friend. You are one of the best bloggers I know, and I'm always amazed at not only how often you post, but how funny and/or relevant each is. Almost every time I will catch myself nodding in agreement with at least one thing you've said. I'm insanely jealous and only wish I could write such things on my poor abandoned (most of the time) blog! So, don't give up! Maybe it just goes back to the whole "we're all our own worst critics" thing?

    And how could you get through this month and not mention Newsies? I mean, honestly, Aimee! :P But anyway, great post, as usual! Hang in there...

    1. Awwwwh thanks so much. <3 It means a lot.


  7. I literally started singing as soon as I saw the title of your post. XD

    You are super cool. I'm so excited for you and your podcast, and I cannot wait for your video. You're a fighter, girl. Always inspired by you. <3

  8. Yooooo, Aimee, hang in there. I'm sending lots of love and encouragement your way, because honestly, I love your words and your sense of humor, and I think you've got good, big things ahead. You got dis.

    Also, yesss to playlists.

    1. Dude, that means a lot. *hugs and chocolate*

  9. Wow, how on earth do you read that many books???
    Okay, so I'm kind of the same way with blogging. I feel like I just don't fit any specific genre, and that's okay. I love your blog, keep doing what you're doing! (Or experiment, that's always fun too).

    1. *looks into the distance* I don't do anything but read honestly

  10. I FEEL YOUR PAIN SO MUCH ABOUT THE WEATHER. I live in Missouri, and ugh. The weather here is so stupid. xD A month and a half ago we got a huge ice storm, yesterday it was 70 degrees with tornado watches, and today it's 50 degrees with super cold wind. -.- Like, I much prefer winter and I would be perfectly happy if it stayed freezing until spring, but for goodness sakes, would the weather please just make up its mind. xD

    Anyway! I don't know if I can tell you how my February was because it went by so fast I'm not even sure what happened in it. o.o Other than one thing: I got a job! Happy I'm going to have money now, but I'm unsure about the rest of it. xD I start Friday, and I'm pretty nervous, but we'll just see how it goes.

    1. The weather is out to get me, I'm pretty sure. I've had a crushing headache for like six weeks now. *stabs at weather*

  11. Ooh, Legion! I've been wondering about that show; I'll have to check it out soon.
    You got through February! That's pretty great. Holy cow you read a lot.
    My month was...I don't know. My life was almost completely on hold because my friend was in the hospital. I think I can safely say that I'm learning a lot about God and prayer through all of this grief, uncertainty and fear, but that doesn't make it any easier. Please pray for his family, by the way. Sorry for the ramble, haha. I'm really tired.
    Anyway, your your blog is awesome, and it's completely okay to fall a little behind sometimes. Have a wonderful March!


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